Dipti, who did her Masters in Electronics Engineering, was working for a Govt establishment, drawing handsome salaries and perks, aspired to serve in the private sector for better growth prospectus. She did get a few offers, however, the last one was very attractive, in terms of salary, location, career growth opportunity, position, etc. Her parents being Govt servants wished that she stay in Govt job., but her heart calling was different. The new company was the market leader in their segment, college students always wished to have stamped on their CV for a better prospectus. Dipti joined the private firm after quitting the govt job. She was very happy with the choice she made
All was well, until, she realized that, all her classmates, were already mothers!, while she is yet to get married. Their social media posts of them enjoying holidays, celebrating festivities all made her uncomfortable with herself. She had set very high standards for the prospective boys, which were not coming through. Days were passing by with no results. All those matrimonial sites offered excellent profiles, but none to her satisfaction. She did try even romancing with her lovely colleagues, in an attempt to feel belonged, being careful not to get physical.
Every new relationship would last for about 3-5 months, then fizzle out. Parents were a worried lot now. Her elder sisters also stopped looking for an alliance for her, as she would refuse every proposal with her own reasoning and branding of the boys. No one seems to be the right match for her.
Dipti, 27, a chubby girl, with dimple cheeks that would attract any with her smile, was the fourth child of their middle-class parents. Dad, Suresh, had just retired from a Govt college, while their mother, Sowmya, has another 5 years to retire. Post-retirement, Suresh started worrying about his yet-to-be-married Dipti.
In one such relationship engagement, she was out at a dinner party with her boyfriend and his colleagues. One of them attempted to molest her. She was taken aback with deep shock, unable to speak up or to resist due to the sudden movement, the scar left the deep emotional trail, she discontinued the relationship. They were about to be engaged soon.
In a suitable time, place, and atmosphere, she wanted to cry out on her mother’s lap over the incident, expecting solace. She pulled all her courage and narrated the incident to her mother, who only cold-shouldered and said, these are quite common these days, I too was molested as a young girl. This shook Dipti even more. She started having nightmares, many sleepless nights, she lost her focus at work, her communication started fading, her interactions with friends reduced, she was getting to her own shell. She lost all her Happiness…
Dipti’s memory went back to her school days, where she was molested many times by the school teacher, which she never dared to tell any out of fear of persecution. She developed deeper hate towards the male fraternity. She believed that all males are the same, they just looked for lust, never cared for love. Even her own parents never displayed cordiality at home. This added fuel to her belief. What this belief in males could lead to?
Her relationship with all-male was filtered with her belief glasses, finding faults all the time. Never able to make up. To satisfy her bodily requirements she was prone to watch porn videos and use sex toys.
Upon many counseling sessions, the root causes were identified, all hidden subconscious bad memories were filtered, rectified and she is now happily married at the age of 33 years.
She was a product of her own belief system.
